Cherishing What We Have

Recently, while I was waiting to order for lunch at a fast food joint, Dan, my long time friend and colleague informed me that he is getting divorced. He told me how his work that took him to different countries and allowed him to slowly climb the corporate ladder and impress the management had left his wife disillusioned as he was not spending enough time with her. He said that after nearly 20 years of marriage she was tired of the whole thing! So his beautiful house with a swimming pool and his 401k and the future of all their three kids were suddenly at stake. He did not know how it was going to turn out.

He was not emotional about it, but he told me how suddenly everything looked trivial at work and petty politics looked pointless. He said he did not regret losing the house or the 401k, but really felt bad about breaking up the family. He advised me to cherish and guard the family over everything else. I paused and took his advice to heart. I couldn't imagine carrying on with work if I did not have a family to come home to.

"You know what, life has dealt me a lousy hand and I am to play with it. But I have an ace in my hand that nobody knows about," Dan went on. "I am a single man now and I do not have any responsibilities any more. One of these days I might just say 'to heck with it all' and take my motorcycle and drive West. I will grow a beard and just enjoy the freedom for a while till I figure out what to do."

I did not know if he meant it seriously. But his eyes gleamed as he pondered on that possibility and it did seem like he was cherishing that thought.

Places from Our Past

It was a hot, muggy day in August of 1993 when Prasad, my older brother, rented a Pontiac Grand Prix from Buffalo, N.Y. to drive me to State College, where I was to pursue my master's degree at the Pennsylvania State University. I was brand new to this country and immensely pleased to be here. As soon as we entered the city, he drove into the university to look at the campus. I had seen nothing like it ever before. In the campus, in addition to department buildings and library, there was the Beaver stadium that could seat close to 100,000 spectators for a football game, an ice cream shop called the Creamery and a museum of fine arts! There were more than forty thousand students in the campus with over three hundred just from India. I had no difficulty finding a couple of roommates and renting an apartment at the Heritage Oaks. Although I had a tough time adjusting to the rigorous academic routine at the campus, I enjoyed my stay and have some delightful memories from my time there.

A couple of weeks ago, exactly sixteen years after my first visit to the school with my older brother, I took my family to the Penn State in a minivan! We toured around the campus, stopped next to the Nittany Lion statue to take pictures, revisited the classrooms in the Hammond building, walked along the main street and later drove to the Heritage Oaks to look at my apartment. We immensely enjoyed this short trip to my life in the past as a college student.

Nearly eight years ago, my wife, Prema, and I took a long train journey from Chennai (India) to New Delhi and from there on to Roorkee, a small village at the foothills of Himalayas to visit my undergraduate college campus. There I showed her my hostel rooms, the main building, my engineering department and the recreation theater called the Hangar. Both of us loved the trip to Roorkee, and Prema was quite impressed by the beautiful campus.

From Roorkee, we traveled further up north, to the city of Mussoorie, to participate in the graduation ceremony for the Indian Administrative Service officers, where my younger brother, Jagan, had successfully completed his orientation course and was preparing to launch his career working for the Indian government. Mussoorie holds a special place in our family because my dad, and a couple of other uncles, had lived and studied there before beginning their careers with the government. In Mussoorie, I imagined my dad living in the hostel, eating at the mess, waking up early in the winter months for the mandatory exercise sessions or even playing chess and table tennis with his colleagues. The mere thought made me want to go back thirty years and be a part of his life then.

I am a sucker for nostalgia and have always enjoyed thinking about my days from the past. But there is something special about revisiting a place and also sharing that experience with your family and friends. During such visits, the mere sight of an ice cream shop or a bookstore can bring back fond memories and overwhelm us with a sense of joy.

Have you been to a place from your past lately? If not, I strongly recommend that you do.